Pasanen syndrome

Proving the theory that I can't stick to anything for very long, I am announcing my retirement from the world of blogging, due to lack of motivation and interest.

Not a lack of interest in metal, that still remains my favourite thing evaaaaaaaaa...just lack of interest in sitting at the computer really. I may or may not un-retire at some point; I don't think anyone really cares.

Metal Wars

M: MH† - LOL looks like a post about machine head (from the title)

J: that or metal hammer :)

M: yeah, with that stupid cross and everything :) it's like their sword they have now (dunno, they never used to have it that i remember, but they always have the defending the faith sword logo on the header now)

J: who do, machine head :?

M: nah, metal hammer.


J: i've never noticed - i like their old logo whereas it looks like a band :D
the only faith metal hammer preach is that of the one against my metal law :D ;)

M: :O a war breaks out!

J: a metal war!
that'd be awesome!

M: we'd never win :( we are too few in number :((

J: yeah, there's too many metalfags that like fag stuff.
rob darken can lead the first battalion :[

M: he'd be ace to lead us in!

J: basically, any obscure BM band... and Abbath ;)

M: flag of the legions:

I heart Vince

J: i think i've just found the two best bands ever. you decide!
http://www.metal-archives.com/search.php?string=metal+wolf&type=band

M: i looked at the picture for the 2nd one first - WOLVZ attracted me and i thought nothing could get funnier than that logo with that picture........and then i looked at the first one!!!! that dude with the motley crue sweater or whatever that is is AMAZING

J: yeah, he's the metal overlord :D i LOVE 'taches in metal - fuck beards, i hate them, unless it's on el duce, or me in later years
you can't get more of a Metal name then Metal Wolf... unless you are Metal Law, but not the ML that there is now :)

M: are you going to grow a beard :? :O

metal wolf, he's like the animal god of metal :D

also: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/VTG-black-MOTLEY-CRUE-SWEAT-SHIRT-dr-feelgood-shirt-M_W0QQitemZ300352477198QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVintage_Men_s_Clothing?hash=item45ee67180e&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14 omg want it so much. i'll bedazzle "I heart vince" on the back

J: > are you going to grow a beard

when my hair finally all leaves this mortal place and i gain bear weight, yes. i will them take over from my master el duce left :D
that top is cool :- only a day left :O

M: i am so bidding on it. i know i'm saving for hellfest but that is iron maiden :D
plus i can bedazzle it, which i'll so do, so people don't think i'm a hipster. how can you not appreciate someone who takes the time and care to write "i heart vince neil" in RHINESTONES?!

J: hey now, i thought you loved tommy lee ;O

University of Reading

M: NIRVANA: 'Live At Reading' Trailer Available

J: i feel blessed that i was there for not only the most ground breaking nirvana gig, but also the number 1 in kerrang's top 100 gigs of all time....

M: i know, now that that it's been validated as the most amazing by kerrang, i bet you just treasure the memories all the more

J: hell yeah!

M: XO

If it wasn't...it is now!

HA.

For those not in the know, this is the lovely Audrina Partridge, from MTV's The Hills.

Blow Out

(World Painted Blood has leaked)

M: SLAYER Frontman Blows Out Voice Prior To Melbourne Concert; Show Goes On - olllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllld man araya

J: tom obv tried to sing antichrist from SNM and blew his voice.
awesome :D

M: i know, LULZ all round. so much for all those people who go on about slayer still kicking ass :D

J: yeah, their mighty singer can't fucking sing.

M: :D

J: srsly, it's a cop out that they've pulled this, tom can still play bass - kerry or jeff should sing, it's not that hard to sing slayer songs!
andreas sung for sepultura when max pulled out of a gig, fuck these pussies!

M: true dat, or get help - jonathan davis didn't play with korn and they just got loads of other people to help - i'm sure there must have been someone there that could have done it. all you have to do is shout angel of death over and over again and no-one would notice the difference

J: kerry could have sung, since all he does is boring rhythm, it would have made the gig special, but instead they pussied out
fuck slayer

M: also true, i love the fact that i saw korn with all the different people (even if it does mean i've never seen a complete korn line up) and i'd cut off my leg to have seen joey play drums for metallica!

J: james never pussied out when he couldn't play guitar :)

M: and he'd been set on fire :O

Carmelita

A quick youtube search shows me that Warren Zevon's song Carmelita is a pretty popular one to cover.

One of the most notorious musicians to try their hand at it was GG Allin:

When I first played this song at J's house, I never knew GG had done a cover of it and was pretty surprised J knew the song at all. Here's my version:



Sadly, despite all the different versions on youtube, I can't seem to find the original. To this day I've not heard it, I know it from years ago off some old Counting Crows bootleg.

Saturday Porn Slot

After...not very many weeks at all of this feature, I'll admit that it's getting harder and harder to fill. I guess it's like my friend P said: if people can play and they're really hot, they just join the regular music industry and make a shitload of cash. Metal is often the music for outsiders, for the ones that never fit in - not the beautful people.

However there's hope for us all yet. I still have a few hotties up my sleeve...

This one's another that's hot and can play. True, he's in a shit band now, but the Sepultura that recorded Arise fucking ruled. And I'm not alone in thinking Andreas Rudolph Kisser not only has a hilarious name, but is hot:

The ladies just can't keep away.

Look at him go!

He's my very favourite beardy Brazilian (ha!) and was mighty fine back in the day.

Also, props to him for playing in this band:

Had Gary Holt stayed with the band...I dunno, I don't think you can get better than Jason Newsted, Gary Holt and Andreas Kisser being in one band!!!

Now to be fair, in their time, Sepultura was a pretty hot group overall...

...but when you think about what Max and Igor have somehow turned into...you'll see why it's Andreas that gets this spot today:

There are no words.

The Legacy

J: MUSTAINE: Seems Like BLABBERMOUTH & ROADRUNNER Are Only People Who Don't Like Me Or MEGADETH - shut up, dave!

M: srsly. he's embarassing himself and everyone else, he's only going to isolate himself from the bbmouth/roadrunner people - who like i said last night, are the only people that care in this much detail about him...soon enough there'll only be people who've never heard of this debacle, or the people who have, who hate him :/

J: yeah, srsly, he really is making himself look like a chump. blabbermouth is the most read metal news on the net, though people make rude comments on their all the time, it's the whole internet tough guy thing, because they have a screen to hide behind, it's not like they'd say that to dave's face! it's just their outlet to say that dave's acting like a twat about the whole thing - every one can see that - apart from him

M: and instead of realising these are the only people that care about metal enough to read about it all the time, and thus the people he should go some way to ingratiating himself towards - he makes them hate him more and more!

>internet tough guy

maybe someone should tell him about this - they don't mean it, its just internet speak for them being unhappy about it, you're right

J: dave should just stfu and enjoy his holiday coffee :)

M:
LOL :D

J: i wonder if his daughter'll be as annoying as him...

M: i imagine so, i bet she's one of them pushy celebrity kids - she's already done tv and stuff. and she's called electra :/ (dunno if dave knows it, but in psychology terms, electra is the female version of oedipus...)

J: she's gonna be the 14 year old attention whore that dave already is, except she's female, which makes it over 9000 times worse!

M: LOL i bet you, when she's a bit older, she's gonna get interviews about how her dad used to be in metallica - we have another 80 years of this shit, it's just gonna continue through the generations XO

J: yeah, true that, she might take over his legacy of moaning about it.... oh god ;O

M: srsly, i reckon that's so gonna happen - first time she gets interviewed by anyone who has a clue about metal - she's gonna get asked about it. if she's sensible, she'll tell them to fuck off - but i bet it'll start a whole new legacy of whining, her and the hetfield kids together (or not, as the case may be)

J: you never hear about the hetfield kids :)

M: there's a couple youtube clips where he gets his girl up on stage - they sing her happy birthday one time....but apart from that, no. i don't think they're now minor celebrities in their own right like dave's kid - they're growing up in secrecy behind that giant wall he built (james, not dave) :)

J: yah, that fucking wall :)
whereas dave's kid is a child presenter for some kids tv network :D

M: exactly XO

J: aren't james' kids called something weird, like hercules, or is that
his middle name :?

M: it's cicero or something roman ish.

> Cali (June 13, 1998), Castor (May 18, 2000), and Marcella (January 17, 2002).

wiki solves it all :) castor is def roman*. well, his name is, not the kid haha.

J: Castor, that was the one....
Virgil is his dad, that i think is who i was thinking of :) i knew it was the name of one of the Thunderbird characters :)

M: yeah, that's the one :) james' middle name is ALAN :D

*Continuing my rants about all things Roman - all the Hetfield children have Roman names, probably because of James Hetfield's father's name - Virgil. The name Marcella means 'dedicated to the god Mars'. The name Cali is from the name Calista, which was common amongst Greeks and Romans. Castor was another common name - one of the Gemini, Castor and Pollux, Castor was also the god of the Praetorian Guard. The son of Tiberius was nicknamed Castor for this reason.

mihi non placet.....

Although I don't think I've mentioned it on here before, I make no secret of the fact that I'm a total nerd for the Romans. It's pretty much my favourite subject and I've always wondered why Rome doesn't turn up in metal subject matter more often. Greek mythology is everywhere: Symphony X's The Odyssey, Iron Maiden's Flight of Icarus and Manowar's Achilles, Agony and Ecstasy to name but a few.

Which is why, when I first read about Ex Deo, it was with a certain amount of curiosity and anticipation - here was the possibility that someone might blend my favourite music, metal, with my favourite subject area, Rome.

The disappointment is thus crushing. They suck. They really suck, their music SUCKS. It doesn't sound any different to any other generic death metal-lite band that I don't want to hear. The guitars are muddy, the synth only goes further to destroying the guitar sound and the vocals are really, really fucking horrible. The solos are weirdly paced (too slow) and mis-placed (they just don't seem to fit in the right places) and the drums have some very strange tones. It's embarassing.

Not wanting to put a downer on the whole thing: lyrically, I think they're getting there. Apart from over-hyping the Battle of Actium (although I suppose that's what Augustus always wanted), they get some nice lines in. Massive points for fitting "circumvallation" into a song and including lyrics in Latin (now that's what I'm talking about!).

However, why stick to the obvious stuff? I know Julius Caesar is famous, but wouldn't Hannibal and Scipio make for more brutal subject matter? Or the Aeneid for some extreme epic? Or the achievements of Pompey, Vespasian or Trajan? Of Marius or Sulla? There's more to Rome than Antony and Cleopatra, believe it or not.

J will probably say I'm being too high brow about it. But it seems to me that if you're going so far as to make a Rome-themed metal band, you should do it properly and do it justice.

You might notice that the Metal Archives review is a great deal more generous towards this band than I. If you look at the reviewer profile however, he's blatantly a twat. His notion that "In the middle ages and during the reign of the Roman Empire, if you lived in Northern Europe and wore long hair, you were a free man, if you had short hair, you were a slave." isn't really true at all. This was the case for early Greek civilisations, but by the 6th or 5th century BC shorter styles were more common.

Even in Classical Greece, "long" wasn't even that long: just look at all the statues of Apollo, Herakles and Zeus. To be honest, whether you had a beard or not was considered much more important.

In the Roman Empire, short hair was particularly favoured - especially in the style popularised by Augustus. Through the middle ages, it really depended on exactly which part of Northern Europe you lived in and on what religion you adhered to.

So bollocks to him and his shitty review :D