Metal magic

This time of year you get lists for everything - greatest albums, greatest films, bands, whatever. J and I briefly toyed with the idea of creating our own...and being too lazy to compile this into an actual list, as usual, here's our conversation:

J: see, i think if we did a list, it's be awesome, i think you should do that for leatherman, like a list of most metal moments, but by us...and we know some cool facts! yeah, we hate lists, but we don't hate our own, because we know we're right ;)

M: umm...okay, most metal moments then? that anvil vid is a pretty good one. can't think of anything else off the top of my head? that municipal waste gig at the fighting cocks? i dunno, i'm not that impressed by anything much...

J: vince neil killing razzle :D

M: :O

:)) ooooops!

umm...i think its mean on razzle to put that in there :P

but we can blatantly just add in "everything that vince neil does EVER"

J: off the top of my head;
megaman electrocuting ron mcgovney and then beating up james
the hirax demo
phils bad back
you get the idea - stupid things we love to take the piss out of

M: phil coming back to life, there's one i love :D

the keel right to rock video ;)

J: > phil coming back to life
and douchebag not coming back to life :)
> the keel right to rock video ;)
see, bad-fucking-ass!
see, silly shit we love.

J then completed a huge list of his "most metal moments", which I've copied down here - but with my replies under each as well. As you've prolly noticed before, we do not always agree.

J: Me throwing a Snickers bar at Cradle of Filth... and missing.
M: no

J: Malefic being locked in a coffin to record vocals on Black One
M: maybe

J: The ever changing musical style of Rob Flynn
M: no

J: Keel's Right to Rock video
M: YES

J: Anvil's Mad Dog video (soley for the purpose of the dog turning into Lips)
M: YES

J: Vince Neil killing Razzle (and anything Vince Neil does)
M: only the stuff that vince neil does, i'm not specifically putting accidental drunken murder in there. but now i write it like that, it seems maybe to fit after all.....

J: Anything Seth Putnam does!
M: YES

J: Hirax's 1984 demo
M: YES

J: The Wet Cherry dude from the Decline 2 documentary
M: what?

J: Jim Gillette's hair (and voice)
M: no

J: Michael Angelo Batio's quad-necked guitar (before it was stolen)
M: YES

J: Bret Michaels' mis-spelled tattoo
M: YES YES 1000 times YES

J: This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BdP6lI6kqc
M: fucking YES!

J: John Corobi getting what he thought was the name of the new Motley Crue album he was to sing on for them to change the name and release what he got tattooed as a live album with Vince singing.
M: perhaps (it seems like we should just make another list of the ultimately funny stuff in metal - these aren't exactly metal's "greatest" moments......)

J: ODIN! (Odin, Odin, Odin, Odin.........)
M: no

J: The gorgeous Dan Lilker
M: no

J: Scott and Charlie for single-handedly ruining anthrax
M: no

J: Burton C Bell's hairline (and his inability to realise no one likes his side projects)
M: hehehehe yeah maybe :)

J: Dave Mustaine electrocuting Ron McGovney and beating up James.
M: YES

J: Cliff Burton... for being crushed by a fucking bus!
M: YES. twice!!!!

J: Jason's bass from Justice
M: hey!!!! D:<

J: Sebastian Bach forgetting the words to Youth Gone Wild on Nevermind the Buzzcocks
M: no

J: Sleep spending all their major label advance on weed and amps, recording dopespmoker, then getting dropped.
M: no

J: Phil Anselmo coming back to life (and Dimebag not.)
M: yes, but i won't mention dimebag

J: Dylan Carlson's sexy voice
M: NO.

So there you have it. It's more J's list than mine, but then I suffer from an atrocious memory and tend not to remember these sorts of things.

Anyone have their own ideas? I'm sure most of the above won't make it on to the usual "greatest" anything lists - can I entice any of you (all 4 of you who read this) to share your thoughts?

You sold out man!

M: GENE SIMMMONS Responds To TRENT REZNOT Diss - HA trent reznot :D

J: blabbermouth site aint loading for me today :/

M: me neither, it just killed my browser window :/ at least it's them not us :)

J: just wont load :(
you ok today? :)

M: yep :) happy today :) although wish i was going to bloodstock for my birthday weekend :D would so get tickets but i can't really ask everyone else to go, K and D aren't into metal at all :/ plus i don't think A would be able to afford it :( wish i'd thought of just doing that earlier. boo hiss etc. oh well, maybe next year

J: i got V that weekend, who's playing anyway?

M: umm.....quite a lot of people i'd be up for seeing actually, carcass and arch enemy, the haunted and divine chaos (C, B and that lot from slough) for starters anyways

J: and europe :)

M: WOW, see, that would make my weekend :D although, same as everyone else, i only know the final countdown

J: why are they even back? no one really liked them when they were out, bar that song, but it's the whole rock is cool stuff - spinal tap being back, etc,etc :/

M: yeah, saxon and anvil and all that shit. its like you said the other day, rock is back, people are just getting nostalgic about all this shit without remembering that most of it was rubbish. except anvil ;D

J: anvil have one good song :) we both know what it is, only because the video is awesome. but it just proves people are frauds, and instead of these bands calling these so called fans out on this, they just enjoy the money and go against their ideals, the sort of thing they were against 20 plus years ago, but seem to think now it's accepted. it makes you wish paul baloff was still alive

M: yeah the dog one :D i wish paul baloff was alive anyway :( i love paul baloff, he'd come along and fuck these posers up :D loads of hipster fashion blogs that think they're really ROCK keep going on about fucking fringes at the moment....he'd come and cut them all off :D

J: yeah, it's only good when the singer turns into himself from the dog, that's a badass moment in metal, but it's all they got going for them. there's plenty of bands that could have done similar that were/are more famous, but they did it, for what reason? because they didnt get much fame all them years ago? maybe.

pretty much most people from the bay are have sold themselves out now, aside from obvious bands like death angel and the lesser known. you'd hope paul bayloff wouldn't, though he never sold out even when most of the main stayers in thrash had, so who knows

M: anvil do have a song about mothra though. i think that's pretty cool too. paul baloff was a lot more hardcore even when all the others still hadn't sold out though - i think if he'd survived, he'd have still been pretty awesome today. like katon :D it'd be him and katon, still 100% thrash and none of the irony, just straight up amazingness :D

J: yeah, he'd still be in a thrash band that dont earn that much money but do ok to just play some gigs and do ok from that

M: yeah :D i think that is the fact that most bands have to face, which is why you hear the old "sell out" cries so often....but it's because metal fans know the only reason bands ever change to a more mainstream style is because they're in it more for the money than the music. if they were more about the music, they'd never change to sell out to larger crowds. hence "sell out" haha. all the bands that get away with changing their music style but not selling out change more gradually or it's forced on them through people leaving the band or dying or some shit :/

J: aside from rob douche, exodus have never sold out, neither have hirax, testament or overkill, all of these are still doing pretty well forthemselves and fans still like them. it fucks me off when bands say they do it for the music, when it's usually a lie. fair enough, you get a major label deal, but don't change yourself because of it. megadeth have never really sold out, they just got confused and released shit albums, but are back on track now it seems. megadeth never sold out when they signed to a major, nor did metallica in respect until they got bob rock on board

M: i don't think metallica's selling out had anything to do with them being signed, it was all their own delusions of what people "wanted" and yeah, bob rock fucking poisoning everything they did D: and yeah, megadeth's stuff changed, but only because dave is older and he's tried new stuff, but it's still all been about what he wants to do, same with all those bands. i think even rob douche isn't exodus selling out, they've just made insensitive/controversial decisions lately. i'm not against dukes as a singer, tbh i actually prefer his style (however much people will disagree with me on that) - i just fucking hate him and his attitude. but there's no doubt those guys are all still doing it for the music, they're not pussying around so they can appeal to mass markets and they're not arsing things up so they can get on mtv. *cough cough* anthrax *cough cough*.

J: yeah, they aint sold out with having douche, just a bad choice, like every megadave album since 1990 :) same with maiden, they just can't write a classic song ever again and made bad musical choices.
metallica just got killed from within, like what anthrax did.

M: and so they're dead to us now :) like children that killed one of their siblings....you used to love them, but they've irrevocably destroyed what once was. you have memories of how things were, but it will never be the same again. it hurts you even to hear their name

J: but then again it annoys me more that metal fans still eat up what they put out, like all of the past never happened, which annoys me to be associated with people like that

M: with metallica and anthrax, if people like their stuff now and still like them...well, i kinda just assume they have really fucking awful taste in music. i like the early stuff of both and still listen to it, but anything later on is fucking sacrelige. people that still fucking go and see anthrax - it's just beyond me. i kinda get metallica, because, well, up until very recently they could still put together a good show and part of it is just saying you've seen them.....but anthrax? fucking anthrax? so you can see an old, old scott ian still pretending like he invented moshing and like he's this thrashy dude still at the head of the scene? it's tragic and depressing and really, really fucking horrible. ulu! they played ulu!!! the shame.