NOT!

M: DIMMU BORGIR Frontman Launches 'The Wrath Of Shag - from the comments: "what a fuckin joke. look at this fool. oh you look so tuff with those spikes on that i think im gonna go buy the cd NOT."
scott ian posts on blabbermouth? NOT! ;D

J: i heard danny lilker posts on there.... NOT!

M: injuns :)

J: you secretly love the fact anthrax are kinda goofy ;) :P


M: yeah i do :) but only then, not now. not in the past 20 years, give or take. but i do like their goofyness, that's part of thrash :)

J: they don't goof off now - i liked their image before - from the Armed and Dangerous EP cover, though i don't mind all the surf shorts and NOTisms, but that was during when they sucked for me :/

M: umm they looked badass on the armed and dangerous thingy but i secretly like their stupid shorts and hats and whatever - thats what i associate with anthrax. i don't like when they took it too far, but for a while they had a good look with that, i think.

J: yeah, when they decided to look like run dmc XD

M: yeah, way too hip hop, not thrash enough

J: they kinda went like that when they did the song for judgement night with public enemy

M: ahh but thats an awesome film :D but yeah, that whole moving over to rap thing - i like it with some bands, but not thrash and rap. i like gothy rap LOL like korn, kinda. but not with thrash, noooooooooo way

J: gothy rap?! wtf?! :|

M: like korn....is a bit like chavvy, gothy rap :D

J: you mean nu-metal ;)

M: yes, that :) think sinister off daisy of love :D



J: yeah, a total fagwad XD

M: hey!

Metal magic

This time of year you get lists for everything - greatest albums, greatest films, bands, whatever. J and I briefly toyed with the idea of creating our own...and being too lazy to compile this into an actual list, as usual, here's our conversation:

J: see, i think if we did a list, it's be awesome, i think you should do that for leatherman, like a list of most metal moments, but by us...and we know some cool facts! yeah, we hate lists, but we don't hate our own, because we know we're right ;)

M: umm...okay, most metal moments then? that anvil vid is a pretty good one. can't think of anything else off the top of my head? that municipal waste gig at the fighting cocks? i dunno, i'm not that impressed by anything much...

J: vince neil killing razzle :D

M: :O

:)) ooooops!

umm...i think its mean on razzle to put that in there :P

but we can blatantly just add in "everything that vince neil does EVER"

J: off the top of my head;
megaman electrocuting ron mcgovney and then beating up james
the hirax demo
phils bad back
you get the idea - stupid things we love to take the piss out of

M: phil coming back to life, there's one i love :D

the keel right to rock video ;)

J: > phil coming back to life
and douchebag not coming back to life :)
> the keel right to rock video ;)
see, bad-fucking-ass!
see, silly shit we love.

J then completed a huge list of his "most metal moments", which I've copied down here - but with my replies under each as well. As you've prolly noticed before, we do not always agree.

J: Me throwing a Snickers bar at Cradle of Filth... and missing.
M: no

J: Malefic being locked in a coffin to record vocals on Black One
M: maybe

J: The ever changing musical style of Rob Flynn
M: no

J: Keel's Right to Rock video
M: YES

J: Anvil's Mad Dog video (soley for the purpose of the dog turning into Lips)
M: YES

J: Vince Neil killing Razzle (and anything Vince Neil does)
M: only the stuff that vince neil does, i'm not specifically putting accidental drunken murder in there. but now i write it like that, it seems maybe to fit after all.....

J: Anything Seth Putnam does!
M: YES

J: Hirax's 1984 demo
M: YES

J: The Wet Cherry dude from the Decline 2 documentary
M: what?

J: Jim Gillette's hair (and voice)
M: no

J: Michael Angelo Batio's quad-necked guitar (before it was stolen)
M: YES

J: Bret Michaels' mis-spelled tattoo
M: YES YES 1000 times YES

J: This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BdP6lI6kqc
M: fucking YES!

J: John Corobi getting what he thought was the name of the new Motley Crue album he was to sing on for them to change the name and release what he got tattooed as a live album with Vince singing.
M: perhaps (it seems like we should just make another list of the ultimately funny stuff in metal - these aren't exactly metal's "greatest" moments......)

J: ODIN! (Odin, Odin, Odin, Odin.........)
M: no

J: The gorgeous Dan Lilker
M: no

J: Scott and Charlie for single-handedly ruining anthrax
M: no

J: Burton C Bell's hairline (and his inability to realise no one likes his side projects)
M: hehehehe yeah maybe :)

J: Dave Mustaine electrocuting Ron McGovney and beating up James.
M: YES

J: Cliff Burton... for being crushed by a fucking bus!
M: YES. twice!!!!

J: Jason's bass from Justice
M: hey!!!! D:<

J: Sebastian Bach forgetting the words to Youth Gone Wild on Nevermind the Buzzcocks
M: no

J: Sleep spending all their major label advance on weed and amps, recording dopespmoker, then getting dropped.
M: no

J: Phil Anselmo coming back to life (and Dimebag not.)
M: yes, but i won't mention dimebag

J: Dylan Carlson's sexy voice
M: NO.

So there you have it. It's more J's list than mine, but then I suffer from an atrocious memory and tend not to remember these sorts of things.

Anyone have their own ideas? I'm sure most of the above won't make it on to the usual "greatest" anything lists - can I entice any of you (all 4 of you who read this) to share your thoughts?

ANTHRAX Drummer On Working With JOHN BUSH: 'When You Have A Chemistry, You Should Keep It'

M: ANTHRAX Drummer On Working With JOHN BUSH: 'When You Have A Chemistry, You Should Keep It' - which is why you guys parted ways in the first place?? that makes no fucking sense!

J: don't be so harsh, charlie and scott invented john bush you understand ;)

M: that's true, if it wasn't for them, we'd not have music at all. someone should put up statues for them

J: these two clowns just annoy me so much - everytime i hear charlie
banana's name i see jamie jester from get thrashed telling us how
charlie invented the blast beat and i just want to kill myself!

M: charlie banana :) haha charlie always makes me think of legends cup coffee, the benate blend ;D

J: i managed to forget about that... until now.

don't forget megadave's got his fingers in that pie as well :/

speaking of which, that trend of having coffee appears to have faded
away. and it's a good thing too! though i'm sure dave's working on a
hot sauce to put on the market; "rattleheads rasta-style jamacian hot
sauce"... maybe?

M: haha, doesn't dave's wife run it?

omg i can so see him doing that hot sauce thing. they can use it in david silveria's steak houses ;D

J: > omg i can so see him doing that hot sauce thing. they can use it in david silveria's steak houses

that's a match made in heaven right there :D :D

> haha, doesn't dave's wife run it?

yeah, or ex wife :)

M: didn't someone else release a sauce recently?

J: yeah, but i can't think who ;(

i know joe perry from aerosmith has done. vince neil needs to do it :D

M: vince neil definitely need to do some kind of feelgood steak sauce :D

didn't pig destroyer or someone do one? or cattle decapitation? i get them confused as essentially its the same band name. and i think someone else did one too? and ALSO, remember that bar where all the burgers were named after metal bands? :) i just googled it and the article about the bar is on metal sucks, however it's blocked by the stupid wanky work filter ;( *

J: WILDSAUCE!

no wildside :)

it was cattle decapitation and their veggie burgers :)

*I am now not at work. It's a bar in Chicago called Kuma's Corner. The burgers are indeed named after metal bands, from YOB to Darkthrone, Clutch to Judas Priest. Although I'm thinking that asking for a 'Goblin Cock' is akin to requesting a Sex on the Beach in Brannigans. Tee hee.

SERJ TANKIAN: 'Elect The Dead' Symphony Sample Clip Available

M: SERJ TANKIAN: 'Elect The Dead' Symphony Sample Clip Available - what's the betting that title has some kind of political message? D:

J: he should team up with ratm - they can all then wank each other off over pictures of che and karl marx

M: LOL :D don't push your political opinions on me, just sing about werewolves and satan like everyone else >:(

J: or indians and being caught in a mosh :P

M: :P

J: i'm sure scott'll claim soon that he and charlie invented indians :)

M: they did, did you not know? when iron maiden wrote run to the hills, they went forward in time, met up with scott and charlene and stole their idea! :D

J: nothing really surprises me with them clowns. i hate them almost onthe saME LEVEL AS I DO EMPEROR AND NAPALM DEATH ;(

ooops :) not shouting

M: haha i thought the hate was just getting too much halfway through that sentence, the rage rising.... :) oh i didn't know you felt that way about napalm death :O

J: i fucking hate that band - "oh, we're the first grindcore band, blahblah blah" - and then you get carcass come along with the same thing. i don't like either band, especially ND, who were a crusty punk band that came along too late but thought we'd get with the trend of metal and do that. :////

M: ohhh :/ don't really know anything about napalm death really, can't stand them, so have ignored everything since i first heard them D:

J: i saw them twice unfortunately (supporting machine head both times), maybe more, who knows. they just came along too late and realised that punk was on its way out, so since we're completely untalented we'll record one second songs. that aint grindcore, that's shit.
one of their first vocalists on album was lee dorian, who went on to be in that cathedral band. hes a loser :)

M: supporting machine head?! that seems kinda weird.

LOL, cathedral. HA :)

J: yeah, was in 97 or 98, MH did a two night slot at the astoria, the first night the power failed, and the second night they said the same shit in between songs as if they were on a script of sorts. the only thing that differed was the lack of a power cut and they played a different cover song instead of negative creep by nirvana the night before. this was pretty much when i started hating them since they were not natural in the respect that they had to repeat all the shit in between songs from the night. it wasn't natural. plus also their second album was bordering hip hop with only two decent songs on it

M: yeah, machine head always do exactly the same sets, i've seen them say the same stuff before too - when i saw them at download and then a bit later, he repeated himself too :(

J: but people still eat up what they do. machine head fans are blind to it all :)

M: metal is full of people like that. all the people that like hellyeah, for instance. OPEN YOUR EARS!!! THEY SUCK!!! just because you liked pantera and you can't get over the fact that dimebag is dead, doesn't mean you have to go support one of the worst bands in the world D: people just fucking carry on, without a mind of their own

J: you've just described nu metal there :)

M: true dat. you may as well listen to fucking chart music, for all the thought thats involved. well, chart music here. chart music in sweden rules!!

J: and maybe finland, if you like cob

M: oops, that's what i was thinking of actually :) but i bet sweden's isn't bad either* :D

J: dead was swedish :)

*On closer inspection, the Swedish charts are actually still probably a lot worse than they are here in the UK. I was living in a happy fantasy world when I first wrote the above...those dreams are now shattered.

New Ink

M: New Ink..................
A) that is a shit tattoo
B) i hate people who gets tiny tiny tattoos that you might as well not bother getting
C) i hate it when people refer to them as "ink"

J: another americanism!!! ;(

M: stupid sharpies disease :(((

J: isn't that crap von dee the host or owns a shop called something ink?
hollywood ink?

M: la ink and miami ink are the two shows, i dunno which one she's on. i saw an episode once, it was rubbish :D i hate all those tattoos they're all just the same as everyone else's. i like your one (not jesus) it's cool :D

J: i like A's and fenriz's tattoo's. badly done ones are the way to go

M: what does A have? what does fenriz have for that matter? i've never met either ;)

J: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_5tY-XfbgJe0/SLbG854r1iI/AAAAAAAABAg/l6Ge3ubUr-k/s1600-h/fenritz_tattoo.jpg

A got his done with the same guy i had - he's got a west ham
tattoo, ildrughi, a dragon wit a rose and the same one bruce willis
has in die hard, which is a skull in a tophat smoking. it's so bad
it's great

M: ohh yeah, fenriz has the hanoi rocks one :D :D

andrews sound pretty cool, you should get him to take some pictures of them and send them to me :D the skull one sounds genius :D

the interview with soctt ian in metal hammer i told you about - its the bit where they interview people about their tattoos :) his are boring, they're all samey and average

J: what does he have?

M: umm...some old man face on his knee, angus young, ugh, he got a guitar hero one at la ink D:

J: wtf

angus young?!?!?!

M: I KNOW. fucking AWFUL.

J: :/ almost as bad as the crab rob flynn has on his back :)

M: D: i don't think i've ever seen that either :O i'm so ignorant of people's tattoos :O

J: i saw it at a gig, it's all i know he's got :)

M: he always has that stupid t-shirt on when i've seen them

Nod to the Old School

M: http://www.metalhammer.co.uk/uncategorized/join-our-bring-back-bush-campaign/ what new rottery is this? D:

J: > witnessing John Bush absolutely nail ‘Indians’, ‘Caught In A Mosh’ - yeah, just like among the living is their only fucking album. it's cunts like this that love john bush - he's only good in armoured saint, he sucked in anthrax and scott and charlie made it shit for him when he was in there before. no one seems to point this out....
ffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

M: its all complete tripe. which would you fucking campaign to bring him back? there's loads of better people out there. ahem, joey belladonna, i'm looking at you

J: as much as i'd love that for him, because he IS the only singer for them, i'd rather he told them to get fucked if they asked him on the basis of principle. anthrax is like metallica where you have the two key members, and as in metallica, they're arseholes now, why leave this, to become a scab singer?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEyFqO6R7og

M: i remember you showed them to me before and i liked them :D it's true, if he leaves, it's for the money and fame, like robert trujillo joining metallica as a hired hand :( it's not so bad with the megadeth people because you know that band's all about dave and he's the frontman via guitar and vocals so no-one can step ahead of him

J: i love armoured saint, even if i do spell it correctly ;)

except rob only had scab fame and is famous only for being in the shit version of ST :)

yeah, megadeth, it's dave, no one really sees the other dudes as scabs tho, well, i don't

M: no, i think the guys in megadeth are just that - and they always have been, so it's okay. its when you have bands like anthrax and metallica who've had very very famous members and people just step in to take their places - it's not right :(((

J: until the 90's, most members in megadeth were famous, as they had a semi-tight line up, after the classic band left, it's just been random dudes :)

M: the elaphantson man? now it's the bendover people :D

J: elephant man :)

dave jr was pretty much like rodney is to del boy in megadeth, but no more, he was the only real core member.

M: i think no-one really minds tho, it's all about megadave.

gaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hollllllllllltttttttttttt!!!!

J: and gary holt is fucking exodus up with rob douche.

they need zetro back :D

M: hey, it's not necessarily gary's fault >:( he's in that dublin death patrol :D HA!

also, this band http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tenet_(metal_band) with fucking GENE HOGLAN!!! that man is everywhere!!!!!

J: > hey, it's not necessarily gary's fault >:(

it's his band, he needs to sort it out

> he's in that dublin death patrol :D HA!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

> also, this band http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tenet_(metal_band) with fucking> GENE HOGLAN!!! that man is everywhere!!!!!
no surprise there then :)

M: did you not know he was with ddp? i knew about that, never heard about tenet though. what the fuck kind of a name is that? LOL tried looking on youtube - only found this band http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bflsHK4GjoA who i think are definitely not the same.....

J: i know ddp is all bay are people, i think i knew it, but i dunno. they got shit reviews on marchives and the name just sucks

that band look like some school band :)

M: it's chuck billy and a lot of his mates - his brother eddie is in it :)) ummm.....they're not that great :/ i like chuck billy's vocals, but testament are the better band so far so you might as well just listen to them for the good stuff.....i dunno, i want to like them, because i LOVE chuck billy ("raaaargh" :D) but they're just not that great: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F875_HhMJ-Q

J: you read the comments? about chuck billy being the best vocalist inthrash.... hmmmmmm :) he's good, but not the best

M: one of the best, as far as i'm concerned :D i dunno, who's your favourite? chuck billy is great, but he's got quite an unusual vocal style for thrash, he's very deep and 'crushing' , for want of a better word. all the thrash singers ever have left my head as i try and think of the best...all i can think of is the dude from bonded by blood :) who i do like :)

M: probably james from kem or rtl, paul bayloff (and zetro), Sean Killian from vio-lence, Mike Sanders from Toxik.

and joey, but he doesn't sound thrash....

J: he's very singy, which i normally don't like :/ but he's my favourite anthrax man :) yeah james' voice used to be AWESOME, he was my favorite singer for a long time. even after he changed his style, i liked the stuff he did.....recently he's been really fucking bad tho :( i was pretty fucking lenient in liking all the s&m/load stuff which most people shat all over, but even i gave up after a while. reading last year was a sad, sad moment for me, his voice sounded BAD :(