Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Metal up your ass




(From 15th December 2009 - we're not just REALLY behind with news)

J: METALLICA, SLAYER, MEGADETH And ANTHRAX To Share Stage In Europe -
MONEY, INC!!!
i think though it's gonna be at festivals - and not a "big 4 tour"

M: yeah, so they don't have to actually talk to each other and of course - metallica have to headline. are they gonna do it in the uk tho? i thought maiden were set for headliners....

J: depends on what day, i guess, it;s not mentioned about uk sonicsphere in the article, mind, and it just talks about them all doing festival dates, so it's not really as good as they're making it sound.

M: unless they all play one after the other, it don't count and its not the same. if they play anthrax, megadeth, slayer then metallica straight up, then thats pretty cool (if you shut your eyes and imagine they're playing like they did 20 years ago)

J: tom and james can't sing now anyway, plus anthrax will sound bogus without joey so it leaves megadeth who pretty much have't changed to a respect

M: megadeth are the only ones who can still put up a good set. which is even worse - was just saying to TM that blatantly all summer is just gonna be dave mustaine says this, dave mustaine says that - he's gonna be banging on all year about how everyone needs him and how amazing he is - i mean, it's kind of true, but it's gonna be EVEN WORSE than this year

J: with this coming up, he's gonna be on overdrive :D

M: EXACTLY. its gonna be srsly unbearable

J: fuck dave, fuck slayer, fuck metallica, and fuck scab anthrax
there :D

No matter how much shit we give them and as much as it pains me to say it, I fucking LOVE Metallica. That's why it's so easy to rage on them: because of everything they were then and everything they're not now. I love them because they wrote some of the greatest metal of all time and I hate them because when you say you like Metallica people respond: "Oh, Enter Sandman yeah?" and it makes me WANT TO DIE. They're your most beloved child who turned out bad - you love them, but who they are now is just too painful.

Now all of that may be extremely over the top, but I suppose, deep down, I firmly believe that Metallica are the greatest metal band of all time. I'm not saying they're technical wizards, or poets, or whatever shit like that - I just mean overall, all round, the best.

For me, they had everything a metal band was supposed to have. And although I love
No Life 'Til Leather, I liked them best on Ride the Lightning. They had Cliff Burton's kick ass themes (I'm still certain he's the only reason anyone gives a shit about H. P. Lovecraft) and the other three could still do what they were supposed to.

Sadly, I was born in 1985. So I've only seen Metallica with short hair and the only album they've released during my metal years is Death Magnetic.* The good old days are far behind us all and Cliff Burton's been dead almost as long as I've been alive.

All I have is this:



100% complete and utter, all-encompassing Lameness.


*The only one I've noticed anyway. They released St. Anger in 2003 and I listened to metal then...it seemingly passed me by. I listened to it for the first time last year and I wish I hadn't.


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