Where death is most alive

I went to see Dark Tranquillity with Insomnium and Cypher16 at the Underworld last night and I had a lot to say about it, so I thought I'd share my wise and well-informed opinions with the rest of the world.

First of all - Cypher16. J hates the name, but I don't think it's so bad, although numbers with any name just make it look like a bad email handle. Terror 2000 remain my exception to the rule, because I love that band :D

So, crappy name...and crappy band, for me at least. I think they have a lot of potential and some people may well think what they're doing is cool already, but they were not my cup of tea at all. If I'm honest, I checked them out on MySpace, decided I didn't like them and so only bothered to turn up right at the end of their set. A little unfair, but I'm hardly Lady Justice.

Moving on...Insomnium fucking RULED. They owned that place; every song was awesome. It's the second time I've seen them and both times they've blown me away - I'm not saying they're technically the best or they have the best sound or whatever, but overall, they are one of my favourite live acts. They had a lot of fans there, which was great to see and they had an incredible atmosphere for a relatively unknown band here in the UK. I got one of their albums after I saw them the first time and didn't think much of it, but I'm definitely going to try again. If not then hey, I only like Immortal live, there's nothing wrong with that.

Dark Tranquillity were really really good, despite a few technical difficulties, but overall, I think Insomnium won the day. DT are one of my favourite bands, but in terms of what they play they can be very hit and miss. More than half their set was songs I really didn't care for at all - although the upsides were two from The Gallery (my favourite album - they played the title track and Punish my Heaven) and ended with Terminus, for me the setlist wasn't that great. My highlight would have to be Punish my Heaven as it's one of my favourite songs ever.

The other highlight of the night, I have to say, was Michael Stanne himself. Obviously I don't know him, but he comes across as a really, really nice guy. There was a lot of crowd interaction - he surfed, didn't mind holding hands or holding out the mic to people and generally seemed incredibly happy and at ease with everything. At the end he said the band were going to be at the merch stand and would be sticking around for a couple drinks after the show, which is great to hear from a band that's big enough to get away without doing that shit nowadays.

In terms of venue, I'd say they could have done with a bigger place. The Underworld is small and has many pillars and last night was probably the busiest I'd ever seen it. Even the merch stand could have done with more room - the bar just ain't big enough. Had the Astoria not been razed (bastards), that would have been a perfect venue, but without it, London's really lacking a great medium-sized venue. Last time DT played the UK it was at the stupidly small Barfly in Camden, so I don't know whether the band's management are too cautious with the bookings or just undervalue their commercial appeal, but I'd say they could easily play Islington and with a little more advertising, they could even fill Brixton or Shepherd's Bush.

My final point - oh dear god, £4 a pint? I spent almost a tenner, wasn't even close to drunk then decided I couldn't possibly afford to get drunk. Doesn't make for a fun night, Underworld (and all you other venues charging stupid amounts for watery beer). Improve please!

Seasons in the Bathroom

J: Slayer Guitarist's Food Poisoning Forces Tilburg Cancellation - from the comments;
> Seasons in the bathroom
i lol'd XD

M: >... maybe this will help Kerry to shed a few pounds. In fact, maybe he can give the bug to Hanneman...When I caught the Big Four movie, I was amazed to see they made leather pants that big.
:D

J: > When I caught the Big Four movie
what is this :?

M: >what is this :?
ohh, the first set of it, they showed in cinemas across europe, tickets were bear dollar tho :3 i don't think that many people went, i don't know any that did. i only knew it was happening 'cause P told me...

J: so it's some film about the big 4 now? :O

M: no, not a film, they literally screened the sets in via satellite link so you could 'watch as if you were there' sort of thing...

J: oh that, i've noticed that on other gigs.

M: orly? i never seen it before :O

J: yeah, read about it on the nme (i think), some band have a proper director involved in doing it :/

M: omg that's lame :(( what's the point? i hate live stuff unless i was there, someone i know was there or....well yeah, that's about it. apart from s&m, which most people hate anyway...

J: just in case you didn't feel like showing up :)

M: :DDDDDDDDD yeah hehe :)

Jammer

M: FEAR FACTORY Drummer GENE HOGLAN Discusses His Technique In New Interview - "i enjoy triggers and joining as many bands as possible. you could say i model myself on nick barker. we're fat and we're both in a lot of bands..."
is what the interview should say.

J: that made me lol irl XD

M: :D true tho ain't it :))

J: yeah :)

Cash Fiends

M: METALLICA To Play Special 'Old-School' Show In Christchurch - ohh, i thought they meant old-school set. they do not. they just mean they're not gonna be playing in the round 'cause it's not big enough...... but to be fair, that's how 99% of other metal bands play, so it's not that old-school or significant at all. thanks bbmouth, for making me think there was a story when there was none.

J: they should play on the same level as the fans with no barrier, see how that goes, or how many people spit and fall into them :)

M: LOLOLOL that would be awesome :D sadly, instead of getting spit, piss and other secretions they generally deserve, people would just want to get up close to their "heroes" (heroes that ruin music, i might add!!) or to touch their guitars or whatever. lameness.

J: > or to touch their guitars or whatever
whilst kirk's playing a solo, help mess it up :)

M: ooooooops :) i'd love that :D you could listen to the bootleg after and feel pleased :D

J: clumsy dudes at the front twiddling their fingers, get pushed into james, ooops :O

M: i reckon metallica are the sort of band now that would get pissed at that. not like those old shows with dave and everyone, just arsing around. friends :)

J: ah, friends :)
they're friends now, gaying it up an shit :)

M: yeah, not nice friends like they used to be, but seedy friends because they've come together in their love of screwing people out of their cash....

J: cash friends :)

M: that :)

J: cash fiends XD

Albums I Like - 2

Death - Sound of Perseverance

Here's number two on the list and it's an album I'll never, ever get tired of hearing. It's the only Death album I listen to now because it's as if all the albums built up to this point - it really is the sound of perseverance - so why listen to anything that came before? All the preceding albums were just practice runs: this is the real thing.

And why do I like it so much? Like I said about Artificial Emotions, it sounds nice in my ears. It's crunchy and chunky, but often delicate and pretty too - even the solo it all builds up towards is bordering on cheesy, but the complexity of the album overall means all of the cheese is still complete joy. Over the years, Death went from, well, death, towards the Control Denied mark that Chuck Schuldiner ended up at, and if you imagine Scream Bloody Gore colliding with The Fragile Art of Existence, The Sound of Perseverance is kinda where you'd end up. Which pleases me greatly.

Halfway to 50...

Well, I didn't make it last year, but this year, if I'm going to turn 25, I may as well do it at Bloodstock :D

I'm going to be a complete lord and see all kinds of ridiculous bands that I imagine no-one else will want to see, but I don't care!! Amorphis, Rage, BLOODBATH, Behemoth, Bonded by Blood...none of it actually on my birthday (which is the Thursday), but like I said, might as well make a weekend out of it.

If anyone's going that reads this that I don't know already (which would be highly surprising) gimme a shout :)

Albums I like - 1

(These are in no particular order).

Hieronymus Bosch - Artificial Emotions

This album is pretty hard to describe, so I'm not gonna try too hard, I hate all of that self conscious bullshitting people do. It's progressive death metal, to be genre-specific. It has roars, jazz (which usually I don't like), a lot of pinch harmonics (squeaky) and a Sound of Perseverance vibe.

All I can really say is that this is easily one of the best experiences my ears have ever had, they enjoyed every single second of it. It was like when I heard Enthralled in Essence by Atheist for the first time. It was like I had popping candy in my ears and my ears liked it. Crunchy.

This is all even sadder to say now, 'cause the band split up just a couple months ago. I haven't heard their newest album yet and I dunno whether I'll like it, but I'm gutted I'm never going to see this band now. Really fucking gutted.

So there, that's the first album in my list of all-time favourites. I highly recommend you go listen to it, all the way through.

We shall fight on the beaches

I was watching Mock the Week the other night and Russell Howard happened to mention that most people today couldn't quote you anything from Winston Churchill...

He obviously doesn't know Iron Maiden fans! Even casual enjoyers of the band (I'm by no means die-hard) know Churchill's speech and can probably quote a bit of it...

Sir, I give you Aces High.

HELLFEST

I can't believe it's over already D:

It was of the the greatest weekends of my life, despite the 1000 mile round trip of horribly confusing roads, motorways you have to pay to use and toilets that left a lot to be desired...

Still, Exodus played all of Bonded by Blood, Bloodbath played an awesome set and Angela Gossow was in fine form. We saw Abbath walk out over the drawbridge of a castle (we're 99% sure it was him), we met 3 awesome french dudes (hey Armel, Fred and JD! good luck with the baby Armel:) ) had a lot of beer, danced to KISS and Motorhead, J shouted along to Discharge, I got a kiss from Mr. Rock and...well, it was fucking iron maiden.


le sandwich!!!

Let's ALL stab Malcolm Dome in the throat :D

M: http://www.metalhammer.co.uk/news/the-road-to-hammerfest-rise-to-remain/

i know this has been and gone already (JA went) but....

"Hammerfest is headlined by Five Finger Death Punch and Suicidal Tendencies and will also feature DevilDriver (Spring Exclusive), Iced Earth (UK exclusive), Skindred, Napalm Death , Epica (Only UK Show), Katatonia and many, many more at Hammerfest II in Prestatyn, North Wales on 11-13 March, 2010! You’d be crazy to miss it! Get details and tickets for Hammerfest here!"

seriously??? katatonia aside, i would actually go so far as to AVOID seeing any of those bands. that sounds like the worst amount of shit ever, it makes me ashamed to like metal. how can people work for metalhammer when they spout shit like that?

J: > Five Finger Death Punch
was this the band where the singer or someone went missing in that bizarre thing last year?
> and Suicidal Tendencies
AND suicidal?! Srsly, no one cares about them no more, it's only mike i think still in it :O
> Iced Earth (UK exclusive)
again, does anyone still care about iced earth?
> DevilDriver (Spring Exclusive)
at no point is DD playing exclusive!
> Epica (Only UK Show)
this sounds important, but wtf are they?
> Napalm Death
was this outdoor or indoor. ND at a fest is like MW at a fest, pointless.

> how can people work for metalhammer

same as terrorizer, et al - they have no soul. see malcolm dome ;)

M: >> Epica (Only UK Show) this sounds important, but wtf are they?

LOLOL epica are one of them lady fronted nightwish/lacuna coil whatever bands :/

>same as terrorizer, et al - they have no soul. see malcolm dome ;)

ahh yes, true. god even you mentioning him makes me RAGE HARD i fucking hate him sooooooooo much!!!!!! i bet he doesn't even know about good metal, all i've ever heard him talk about or seen him write about is shitty crap and he's totally out of place now because no-one gives a shit what he says. how i HATE HIM.

J: > LOLOL epica are one of them lady fronted nightwish/lacuna coil whatever bands :/
i did have a feeling that would be the case :)
basically; malcolm dome has demos you can only dream of. you have to visit him in that office near the fox which he shares with that other wanker and ask to see it :O

M: that's my ultimate dream!!! to go there, get that fucking iron maiden demo tape and then STAMP ON IT and spit in malcolm dome's eyes :) i think of it every time i'm near there, i look up and think about that :)

J: stab him in the throat with the broken cassette. that's real ultraviolence :D

I'm considering getting a Vince Neil tattoo

I really am. (Not of his face, obvs).

M: Randy Rhoads’ Sister To Release Commemorative Wine - LOLOLOLOLOL :D

J: immortalised in wine! she's stolen vince's thunder!

M: hahaha that's true, altho i think he might have picked tequila. still...

J: i thought any alcohol would do.
that being said; i think vince has enough alcohol in his system to preserve him for a year after death ;)

M: hahaha pickled vince :)))) i imagine thats not far off the truth tho :/

J: > pickled vince
:D :D :D :D
i think really, his ashes should be mixed with the cement for a new steak house being built XD

M: VINCE NEIL BAR AND GRILL - 2 for the price of one tequila shots!
srsly, what better way to commemorate him? either that or open up a strip joint, but they already did that. altho vince already has his steakhouse too :)))) he needs a strip bar and grill :D

J: he needs a fucking casino!

M: thats a GREAT idea :) in fact, they should just give him a residency in vegas or something :))))

J: The key to Vegas :) vince'd love that

M: omg they could have a ceremony with showgirls and everything - vince would wear a horribly loud hawaiian shirt, smile at the women, mention how "proud" his daughter would be of him right now.....

J: does he actually have his own brand of alcohol?

M: i think he has some kind of tequila?



I was right. He does have his own brand of tequila...

Can't unhear

This morning afternoon, I've been working on a version of Seek and Destroy - then only one more song to go before I can play all of No Life 'Til Leather/Kill 'Em All.

M: unfortunately now I can't unhear "sea can destroy" XD

J: A bit like "inside michelle I wait and bleed" :D

EDIT: J didn't understand why I put the KEA cover up as a picture - if you look carefully, you can see I spent SOME TIME using Paint to make it look like it says Sea Can Destroy for the fourth track.

Good job, Gary! I love you, Gary.

M: EXIVIOUS Calls It Quits - woah, read that as exodus :O

J: me too, was annoyed when it wasn't them :)

M: haha :) nah, what would gary do then?? :)

J: hopefully something that's not as much of an abortion as exodus is now

M: i dunno, might leave gary free to mess up other stuff :O

J: i don't think you can really do any worse than fuck up one of the best thrash bands :

M: don't, he might take that up as a challenge

Lord of the Wasteland

M: TOXIC HOLOCAUST Debut New Music Video - you seen this?

J: no i haven't.
also..
> Cult crossover band
since when were they cult, and when were they crossover?

M: no idea. the cult of true thrash? the cult of joel grind? i'd happily join that last one.

J:

the only cult you need to know of :)

That's the second time And & Dec have unwittingly appeared on this site. I'm not sure whether to be worried about the state of my blog, or just concerned for myself....

The long goodbye

M: XASTHUR Release New And Final Full Length In June - lets hope we don't get a whole series of last albums.

i wish people wouldn't do that, it's so needlessly dramatic. "this is the last one!!" why don't they just release it and not say anything? if people ask later, just say i don't feel like doing any more albums right now. so then if you do want to do something later you don't look like a lying, money grubbing dickwad who just says stuff to make a sale.

J: i know what you mean - kiss have been doing final tours now for about over ten years. but xasthur's turning shit getting people on the album, it's not like he needs to do it, so when scott says:
> who rely on too many guests and session musicians
why even say that when you've done so well doing it on your own - it's only until recent that there's been guests involved that have fucked up xasthur.

M: who's scott?

J: scott connor = malefic :)

M: ahh :) sounds like someone from terminator XD

Hvis lyset tar oss

Now, J and I are probably amongst the last to see this film...it was definitely not worth the wait. We almost went to some cinema in Hackney (East London is generally shit and full of hipsters and I hate it, I don't care what anyone says)...I'm glad I was too lazy to bother.

Our thoughts, as always*:

J: http://mcbeardo.com/2009/07/guest-review-until-the-light-takes-us-2009/
"Faust chose to have his voice be computer-altered and his face blacked out in interviews, not because he's on the run or anything, but because he claims to regret committing the murder, and felt that talking about it with his face and voice visible would legitimize his actions too much"

M: thats the biggest load of horse shit i've ever heard

J: see, he's a pussy, like the rest of emperor :)
UTLTU was the biggest waste of time ever - the only good things in it were hellhammer saying "fucking faggot", demonaz looking like an extra from the matrix, and varg :D
they could have least got a drunken necrobutcher on it :D

M: varg was pretty funny throughout, he came off really well so i expect it has some of his support. the rest - well i've seen better murder/arson footage from the news reports and docs already on youtube....it was nice to see what some places looked like in norway but i could have easily found that out a million other ways... that movie was LAME.

J: > varg was pretty funny throughout
found Dead dead in bed XD
> it was nice to see what some places looked like in norway
eh, like what? you only saw helvete as it is now, which is the one place i cared about seeing, and the basement too, but nothing was unique in it :/
basically the whole movie seemed like a big plug for that visual artist and fenriz's lame love for modern art.
cack movie, but at least it doesn't make you look like a chump if you like BM :)

M: >found Dead dead in bed XD

yep :D and the funny "no" he did :))
yeah that's what i mean, the brief footage of helvete then and now, but that was all of 30 seconds of film. which, like i said, we could technically just go and see for ourselves.

>basically the whole movie seemed like a big plug for that visual artist and fenriz's lame love for modern art.
THAT.
>at least it doesn;t make you look like a chump if you like BM :)
i dunno, it makes us look like we go to those shitty art shows!!! D:

J: yeah, i'd actually rather people think i hang around woods and live in a village where girls ride horses....
> yep :D and the funny "no" he did :))
i like mine criiispy XD

M: >yeah, i'd actually rather people think i hang aropund woods an live in a village where girls ride horses....
:D :D :D
varg was the best thing about that film. they could have not bothered and just run an interview with him, it would have been cheaper and probably more entertaining (although i realise that they would't have been able to make their name as "filmmakers") damn audrey and aaron, whoever they are. your film sucked!!!!


For me, Until the Light Takes Us was boring and pointless and pretentious and completely unecessary. Maybe if you're some lame art fag that doesn't give a shit about any of the bands, you might like it. I could go on, but quite frankly, I've wasted enough of my time on this already. I haven't really got any good opinions about this film, so I won't say any more.

*Faust** has his face blacked out and his voice altered so you can't recognise him. We thought this was stupid, seeing as no-one else interviewed was concerned and most people watching know what he looks like anyway, as an adolescent, at least.

** In Latin, "fausta" or "faustus" could mean sort of lucky, or prosperous.

Love connection

I was looking up a song my mum used to sing and managed to find it:

Thunderclap? Sound of falling rain? I know who else thought it was a good idea to use that sound effect!

Great blog, shame about the name

Although people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Most people on site were looking for leatherman porn so I really shouldn't criticise.

I've been neglecting my feeds lately and as a result, haven't been talking about metal much and as a final outcome, haven't posted much on here. However I just spent the past hour or so going through a backlog of posts from Invisible Oranges (the ones I could be bothered to read, anyways) and it was super wicked fun. They're easily one of the only two or three metal blogs out there that don't regularly make me want to sandpaper my face off.

But all the same, I HATE the name Invisible Oranges.

And I HATE it when people do that.

Metal up your ass

(From 15th December 2009 - we're not just REALLY behind with news)

J: METALLICA, SLAYER, MEGADETH And ANTHRAX To Share Stage In Europe -
MONEY, INC!!!
i think though it's gonna be at festivals - and not a "big 4 tour"

M: yeah, so they don't have to actually talk to each other and of course - metallica have to headline. are they gonna do it in the uk tho? i thought maiden were set for headliners....

J: depends on what day, i guess, it;s not mentioned about uk sonicsphere in the article, mind, and it just talks about them all doing festival dates, so it's not really as good as they're making it sound.

M: unless they all play one after the other, it don't count and its not the same. if they play anthrax, megadeth, slayer then metallica straight up, then thats pretty cool (if you shut your eyes and imagine they're playing like they did 20 years ago)

J: tom and james can't sing now anyway, plus anthrax will sound bogus without joey so it leaves megadeth who pretty much have't changed to a respect

M: megadeth are the only ones who can still put up a good set. which is even worse - was just saying to TM that blatantly all summer is just gonna be dave mustaine says this, dave mustaine says that - he's gonna be banging on all year about how everyone needs him and how amazing he is - i mean, it's kind of true, but it's gonna be EVEN WORSE than this year

J: with this coming up, he's gonna be on overdrive :D

M: EXACTLY. its gonna be srsly unbearable

J: fuck dave, fuck slayer, fuck metallica, and fuck scab anthrax
there :D

No matter how much shit we give them and as much as it pains me to say it, I fucking LOVE Metallica. That's why it's so easy to rage on them: because of everything they were then and everything they're not now. I love them because they wrote some of the greatest metal of all time and I hate them because when you say you like Metallica people respond: "Oh, Enter Sandman yeah?" and it makes me WANT TO DIE. They're your most beloved child who turned out bad - you love them, but who they are now is just too painful.

Now all of that may be extremely over the top, but I suppose, deep down, I firmly believe that Metallica are the greatest metal band of all time. I'm not saying they're technical wizards, or poets, or whatever shit like that - I just mean overall, all round, the best.

For me, they had everything a metal band was supposed to have. And although I love No Life 'Til Leather, I liked them best on Ride the Lightning. They had Cliff Burton's kick ass themes (I'm still certain he's the only reason anyone gives a shit about H. P. Lovecraft) and the other three could still do what they were supposed to.

Sadly, I was born in 1985. So I've only seen Metallica with short hair and the only album they've released during my metal years is Death Magnetic.* The good old days are far behind us all and Cliff Burton's been dead almost as long as I've been alive.

All I have is this:



100% complete and utter, all-encompassing Lameness.


*The only one I've noticed anyway. They released St. Anger in 2003 and I listened to metal then...it seemingly passed me by. I listened to it for the first time last year and I wish I hadn't.

Lesson learned

Well I didn't see this coming.

J is my usual go-to man for general naysaying and negativity and he's been predictably pissed off with anything AIC related post Layne Staley's death.

So all this has surprised me greatly:

J: I'm...also really liking the new aic album, just a bit bummed it's a farce, but still a cool album. what a turnaround :)

M: should write a post on it* :p

J: Dear jerry, i love your new album because it sounds like layne never died, but i'm not happy on it being used under the AIC name. Love J :)

Who'd have thought it? I know he's still being pissy about things, but for J to admit he actually likes the album (for him to have even bothered listening to it in the first place) is, I believe, a step forward for tolerance and understanding in metal.

So okay, that's a slight overstatement, but I hope you can see what I'm getting at. A lot of metal fans, myself included, will blather on about one band's crimes against music...without actually giving them much of a chance. That's pretty retarded of us and we could be missing out on wicked sick stuff.

HOWEVER - it's fun to be gratuitously rude about things I have no idea about, so I might just continue to do that anyway. But now I can do that with a hint of irony. Which makes it okay. Or not. Whatever.

*I've been nagging J to do a full post of his own since I started this.

Throw away your television...

BBC 4 are (for no apparent reason) having a heavy metal themed weekend. Now, heavy metal themed anything makes me cringe at the best of time (in fact, themed things in general discomfort me) but ...well, I really can't be fucked with it all. I don't even like "heavy metal", I like metal, so I suppose from the off that this isn't for me. I'm not some balding 50 year old who wishes they could still get their fat crack around their Harley, I'm not some purple-haired aging hippy who used to smoke pot in school whilst listening to Black Sabbath...

I understand that early heavy metal forms the foundations for the music I listen to today - but it doesn't mean I care. The Romans formed the foundations of civilization as we know it, but does anyone else here study Latin? No.*

The upside of the tv schedule is that Iron Maiden's Flight 666 will go on air on Thursday at 11pm (GMT) on BBC 4, so I can relive last year's super fun cinema trip. Now there's some aging rockers I'll never stop loving.

The rest of the shows probably aren't up to much - Heavy Metal Britannia is on at 9pm on Friday, which I haven't seen, but I imagine it will be full of old men with regional accents. Heavy Metal Britannia at the BBC will probably be somewhat more fun - like a TOTP2 for old men that like rock music. Iron Maiden Live in Concert will obviously be the top show on Friday - songs from sets from all over the world on the Somewhere Back in Time tour.

After that, Rock Family Trees takes a look at the long and already really, really well known history of Black Sabbath. Possibly the most pointless documentary ever. And on Sunday around 11ish they'll show the Deep Purple one. Great.

I probably won't watch any of that, I have better things to do (like a pretty boy with angel hair and a Sepultura tramp stamp) but just thought I'd mentioned it. It's not everyday that metal gets acknowledged on UK television - even if it is just a load of old men harping on about their youth.

Call me irreverant, but I'm fed up of pretending I give a shit about any of that. Life's too short. I'm not saying its not good music - my mum LOVES Led Zeppellin - but that's exactly what I mean. That's my mum's music!! The world will never develop, never change, if all we're concerned about is what came before us. I understand better than most that the past can teach us many valuable lessons - but the future is where we're heading. Do something original, kids.

*If you do then OMG email me right away. Go Romans!!

Saturday Porn Slot: A brief return

I've mostly given up on this feature going any further, but there are still a few men (and possibly women) worthy of my attention in the genre.

This week, it's a man I've been kidding myself about for a long time. I've always known he was hot, but for some reason have never admitted it to myself. Until this week, when I was checking Machine Head's marchives page...

Rob Flynn is super hot!

He might always wear the same t-shirt and maybe he does sometimes act like a bit of a douche. And perhaps his band do release some terrible, terrible music, but you know what? I can't think of anyone who has a more awesome voice than Rob Flynn. I fucking LOVE his voice. It's the voice of rage. He can't seem to sing and not sound pissed off or at least about to kill himself. Or possibly whinging about the parents. Whatever. It's AMAZING.

In fact, even when he was going through his I'm-going-to-dress-like-Tommy-Lee-when-he-was-dressing-like-a-wigger phase, he's still pretty cute ^______^ (In a I-really-wish-you-weren't-wearing-that-shiny-jacket sort of way)

And look:

Aww :) He was in a credible band at one time you know ;D

All that aside, I love Machine Head, I don't care what J or anyone else says. They're playing Brixton Academy next week and I am gonna be there singing VERY LOUDLY. And hopefully, quite drunk :D

Elephant Man

M: DAVE MUSTAINE: 'I Really Am Enjoying Who I'm Discovering Myself To Be' -
i bet he only invited elephant man back so he'd get more interviews (after the new album ones dropped off) so he could continue to go on and on and on and on and on about himself

J: True, though he could at least say he's happy for dave jr to be back -but he's not mentioned it, i think BM had three articles yesterday about dave jr saying how happy he was. it kinda seems like two people have got back together, but one one of them is happy and the other don't give a shit.
like you said last night, it's not as though MD are gonna release some amazing record now - the next one won't be for another two years give or take.

M: and it's not going to be amazing! people are creaming themselves over this like elephant's gonna return megadeth to their youth...he's a MUSICIAN, not a MAGICIAN.

J: sadistic magician :D
and he's only a bass player at that ;)

M: hahah :) i know! as if megadeth rely on bass? i know he's a key member to some of the classic albums but he'll only be able to make a difference if dave lets him....which is exactly how it always was anyways. megadeth not sounding like megadeth is down to dave mustaine and that's a fact.

J: > i know! as if megadeth rely on bass?
that XD
as if any band rely on bass, rly.
dave jr was an original member from the start and stuck with megaman along way, i think that's why ppl are getting excited, but megaman calls all the stuff in megadeth, it's not like you go into MD as a band member, it's not your band, never will be, and there's no chance of you feeling at home there.

M: exactly. tbh, i don't feel like this is a big deal at all, i think it's kinda sad. sad for elephant man because he seems real happy but i don't think it'll do his career any favours (i mean, he'll get more famous, but he ain't gonna be on an awesome album again any time soon) and i think dave is just doing this for the publicity/for business.

J: > kinda sad. sad for elephant man because he seems real happy but i don't think it'll do his career any favours
this. he might be getting more money than he's on, or feel that he's in a "safer" place than he was before (ie doing youtube tutorial videos on how to record) - though it's the same with rob trujillo - he's on more dosh than he was now, but it's not the best place to be.
> dave is just doing this for the publicity/for business.
because dave is, was and always will be a selfish arrogant cunt :/

Hell Yeah!

M: VINNIE PAUL Says New HELLYEAH Album Is 'About Three-Quarters Of The Way Done' - get ready for the reviews! :D

J: > VINNIE PAUL Says New HELLYEAH Album Is 'About Three-Quarters Horse Shit'
fixed ;)

M: :D :D can't wait to see what gems we'll have on this record. hopefully the cover will look like this :D

J: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL @ that!
did you make that? :D :D

M: yes i did :D :D :D :D :D i'm so proud of it!

J: if they ever have an album art contest, submit that :D

M: they'd blatantly go for it :) i hope so, thats the best 5 minutes work i've ever done.

J: you should have included rita on it XD

M: was going to but i had literally about 5 minutes to do that in and halfway through received some [work] phonecall of gayness - interrupted my creative flow!

J: the hellyeah cover is more important :D

M: that's what i said :D

NOT!

M: DIMMU BORGIR Frontman Launches 'The Wrath Of Shag - from the comments: "what a fuckin joke. look at this fool. oh you look so tuff with those spikes on that i think im gonna go buy the cd NOT."
scott ian posts on blabbermouth? NOT! ;D

J: i heard danny lilker posts on there.... NOT!

M: injuns :)

J: you secretly love the fact anthrax are kinda goofy ;) :P


M: yeah i do :) but only then, not now. not in the past 20 years, give or take. but i do like their goofyness, that's part of thrash :)

J: they don't goof off now - i liked their image before - from the Armed and Dangerous EP cover, though i don't mind all the surf shorts and NOTisms, but that was during when they sucked for me :/

M: umm they looked badass on the armed and dangerous thingy but i secretly like their stupid shorts and hats and whatever - thats what i associate with anthrax. i don't like when they took it too far, but for a while they had a good look with that, i think.

J: yeah, when they decided to look like run dmc XD

M: yeah, way too hip hop, not thrash enough

J: they kinda went like that when they did the song for judgement night with public enemy

M: ahh but thats an awesome film :D but yeah, that whole moving over to rap thing - i like it with some bands, but not thrash and rap. i like gothy rap LOL like korn, kinda. but not with thrash, noooooooooo way

J: gothy rap?! wtf?! :|

M: like korn....is a bit like chavvy, gothy rap :D

J: you mean nu-metal ;)

M: yes, that :) think sinister off daisy of love :D



J: yeah, a total fagwad XD

M: hey!

A perfect vision of the rising Northland

Ahoy all. Not quite the Northland, but I spent the weekend in an incredibly sunny Cornwall. It wasn't particularly metal related, so no news on that front; although Bodmin Moor would be an excellent place to shoot a black metal video. On a less sunny weekend than mine.

Okay perhaps the ponies aren't so grim - I just like that picture.

Looks that Kill

M: i really wish dark tranquillity would get a better name/decent logo/decent cover art.....when i think of favourite bands in terms of how many albums i like etc. i think i like more DT than anyone else. i know they have a lot of releases, so in terms of number they beat a lot of other bands i like - but srsly, i like a huge percentage of their stuff....but their merch sucks!!! their logo is just their name in a font (or just the DT), like dimmu, and all their album covers are weird and rubbish or insanely emo looking. the only good stuff is septic broiler but they were pretty much a completely different band back then and i don't like any of the stuff they did.
sadness :(
maybe i should make my own stuff.

J: that's the same with Job for a Cowboy or any band or festival that sounds lame or has lame merch.
DT sounds like some goth band with a female singer... to me anyway. I understand picking a band name is not the easiest thing nowadays, but don't make yourself sound like a bunch of pussies.

M: yeah, it's such a shame because they've done some really great stuff. its one of the reasons i never bothered with them for ages - their singer looks like chad kroeger and everything else about them is pretty lame looking.........their 1995 album the gallery is one of my favourite ever albums. sux the image lets their material down - but here was have proof that image is important, not just the music

Seriously, can you tell them apart?

J: as you know, i like to let the music talk, but an ounce of image IS important. don't get too obsessed about it as that will end up probably affecting the band, but don't sell yourselves short as so to speak :)

M: haha, we're so fussy :) but it's true, for the perfect band, you need to have the right amount of image - too little and people won't bother with you 'cause you're not extreme enough or just not giving off the right signals......but too much and people get put off, or the image can take over completely - like bands with themes that i posted about yesterday.

J: can you imagine motley playing in jeans and a tee shirt back in the 80's? vince does now, but you couldn't of had that back them.
i mean say like crashdiet - you expect them to look a bit dressed up, not to just go onstage looking regular. but this can also fuck a band up if certain people think too much about the image and that's all they care about. that then means you need to gtfo of doing music, because you care too much about something that isn't really that major, although it is something that needs some attention, but not too much.
you feel me?

M: yeah i totally understand. music and live performances of music have always been about making a show and what you wear is part of the show. so that's always going to matter, because the visuals are just as important. if motley crue played what they played but wore and acted like sunn do - it would never have worked. you find an image that works and then go with it...but the bands that do that best are the ones who find stagewear and stage imagery that fits them at each point of their musical careers and let the image evolve with the band. if you become too stuck with one thing, it becomes costume and everyone knows that costumes mean you're a novelty and so no longer taken seriously. usually people's image just simply matures as they grow up so it seems natural, but some people seem quite easily led so they start looking unnatural for them - rob flynn and tommy lee being obvious perpetrators of this crime!

J: > rob flynn
nice frosted tips :) I don't care how he looks now, but he he's gone full circle after turning into an idiot during their nu metal phase, same with dez from devil driver. they both dress now in cut off tee shirts and wear them lame leather wristbands that are so lame i have no idea what they're for and neither do they!
but that aside, bands like GWAR and slipknot have to pretty much keep their costumes, bands that just have an image can freely alter and change it like how motley changed image on every album, but it's when you get a band that are anal about image that then gets in the way of the music and then you have a lame band.

M: >them lame leather wristbands....i have no idea what they're for and neither do they
don't be such a man, they don't need a purpose, they're just leather bracelets :p :)

>but that aside, bands like GWAR and slipknot have to pretty much keep their costumes
see they've both trapped themselves into looking like that and if they don't want to look like that anymore, it'll be a big deal whether people like or hate the idea of it

Old news - No, YOU like him

(First sent 2-11-09)


J: The Cribs rescue fan at London show - The Cribs protected a fan from a violent security guard last night (February 10) during a gig at the London Heaven venue, after he was pushed into the photo pit after trying to get on stage.
- and if the guard let him on and he killed someone, who would be at fault?

M: you're right, but it makes it sound like you're a dimebag fan ;)
true tho, if that had been a maniac this story would have a whole different spin on it

J: > you're right, but it makes it sound like you're a dimebag fan ;)
no

M: haha, yes

J: how does it?

M: oh because he was famously killed by a "fan" getting on to the stage

J: i know, but me saying that doesn't justify being a dimebag fan, you're just clutching at straws!

M: no you're just clutching at straws now to get out of it

J: you started it, loser

M: LOSER

J: any excuse to talk about dimebag, that's you

M: no, you're just trying to subtly imply him into conversations so it looks like people are talking about him, but when its you thats obsessed

J: shut up

Glamma bomb

J: ICARUS WITCH: New Album Details Revealed - "mysteriously entitled"
how is that anymore mysteriously entitled than anything else?
also, the band name sucks! check em out on marchives: http://www.metal-archives.com/band.php?id=32434 XD

M: drawing down the moon is some bullshit wiccan ritual, i don't see how it's mysterious at all. omg: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL at the marchives pic!

J: there only seems to be two members now. i can't really see why anyone would want an image like that :)

M: like a gay rock pirate?

J: it's as though crashdiet and that lame pirate metal band who's name evades me collided and formed this

M: swashbuckle D:
i was trying to think of what it was, could only think of "ramshackle" for ages XD

J: them!
makes me rage hard >.<

M: yea. i wish they were called ramshackle.

J: i think that'd be worse >.<

M: i don't know. if they were stilll a theme band then i don't care...i don't really like theme bands in that 5 year old dressing up sense. i like theme bands in the tankard sense - but i dunno, whatever, i think swashbuckle are the epitome of lameness.

J: being themed as in content not appearance you mean?

M: i guess so, themed in content is okay, as most people have specific areas they're interested in...but themed appearance as well makes you seem too novelty and too much of a joke. only bm bands can be themed in appearance and content ;D

J: that.

M: X[

J: like how thrash bands always had a content theme, and crossover was usually about partying. taking to appearance means you're attention seekers, or your music sucks so much you need to.

M: that.
i know image is obvs a big part of music, across all genres - but some people take it too far and make it all a bit too cosplay, like its all just an act and it draws attention away from the music. dressing like pirates is the equivalent of the women that dress up as "sexy witches" for halloween.

J: > and make it all a bit too cosplay
motley crue don't come under this since their music is fucking amazing! as with early kiss too.

M: but at the time, glam bands weren't dressing up to "be dressed as glam bands" that was just what they were all wearing at the time - it was about being shocking and subversive and silly, pissing off the parent generation at that time who were still very conservative. they didn't come out specifically dressed up as anything.

J: kiss just look like immortal and tuff collided at high speed :)
i see what you mean - it's like with slipknot in a way, they made such a big deal about the costumes when they first came out, but their first album was good enough to not have an image, but now, it's that and the live shows people care about.

So people, to theme or not to theme? It's usually a little bit of both (metal often being highly theatrical anyway) but what happens when your image starts to overshadow any actual capabilities? Where I work, I'm pretty sure that about 80% of the people on my team have heard of KISS. But I'd bet money that not more than one of them would recognise a KISS song. I know plenty of people who've heard of GWAR, but I also know that if questioned, they'd hazard a guess that they sounded like Lordi.

For many bands, having a distinct theme helps to brand your group, which helps the fans know where they're at. You only need to see Rob Darken to understand what Graveland is all about and almost all black metal bands can be spotted without ever having to hear their music.

A little goes a long way, though. Everyone wants their reputation to precede them, but when you beome defined by ideas of how you should look and sound, you can become pigeonholed and restricted. No-one really wanted KISS to take off the make-up back in '83. Alestorm have pretty much committed themselves to singing about wenches and mead forever more. Even bands like Tankard - if they wanted to release a serious track, unless it's about serious beer drinking, most people ain't gonna want to know.

Your thoughts?

He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood

M: VINCE NEIL Cancels Plans To Promote Tequila In Cayman Islands - he got drunk somewhere else instead?

J: bad tummy ;)

M: ooooooops :)

J: that sucks tho, i was hoping he'd do it :(

M: yeah me too :( i gasped aloud in sadness when i saw it :(

J: it's tragic, you should have told [your manager] you were going home early to mourn.

M: omg best reason for a day off work ever :D "I'm sorry [mr. manager man], i just can't work like this - i'm too concerned for vince neil. he's cancelled his tequila appearance in the cayman islands!!"

J: therefore i must cancel my day at work!

M: :D when vince neil dies, i'm gonna take time off work and get WASTED in his honour :)